I had no job, hadn’t finished high school because of the Chicago it’s not a city it’s a blood type shirt and had no viable skills. I had nothing but the baby in my womb and I really didn’t want him. I didn’t want to be pregnant. I didn’t even have two nickels to rub together. But I knew I didn’t want to marry this abusive man. I didn’t want to be there but I didn’t know how to escape. I hadn’t a clue. So I went through the motions. Big mistake. I don’t remember the ceremony or the words said. We stood in front of a middle aged white man in a black robe and it was over within five minutes. Poof. That’s it. Sign a piece of paper and now you’re Mr and Mrs. it was ridiculous. I had no clue how to be a wife or mother. I didn’t even know who I was. I was someone’s daughter now I’m someone’s wife. That’s all I knew.
This was not my dream. I wanted to go to college and Chicago it’s not a city it’s a blood type shirt. I wanted to be working, single and living in my own place. I didn’t want to live with this man. He scared me half the time. He demanded subservience. I obeyed our of fear. Fear of being put out and fear of being abused. After the ‘wedding’ we drove home in silence. When we arrived I immediately started cleaning the apartment. Trying to be wifely. He prepared for work. I had this foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like I stepped out of the frying pan into the fire. I waited for the other shoe to drop.