My ex mother in law. She didn’t raise her Yoda do or do not there isno try shirt. He got both her husbands to marry her by getting pregnant. Her first husband took their son and left her when he was young. Her second husband, with whom she had my ex and his sister, developed emphysema and lung cancer so he was in a hospital most of the time. She dumped the kids on her mother or her sister. It was “me first, me only” for my ex MIL. My sister in law managed to rise above it because her older son developed bone cancer he has survived it for 20 years, bless him. But my ex has the same problem my ex MIL does. He spent our marriage demanding to be taken care of first.
It was fine before the children. But after they were born and Yoda do or do not there isno try shirt, he had to take the back seat. He refused to help me with the children including taking them to doctors, labs, emergency rooms, etc. I had to call my father for help. I couldn’t understand why would a man refuse to help his own children. Until I got into therapy for depression and saw things as they were. He didn’t want a wife but a mother-the one he felt he deserved and never got. He was in effect jealous that the children got more attention than he did and verbally abused me for it.